Graygender
Graygender names a weak, indeterminate or ambivalent connection to gender and to gender expression, rather than a partial connection to any particular gender. The Nonbinary Wiki's definition stacks up qualifications instead of settling on one: a graygender person has a gender and some inclination to express it, but the inclination is weak, or indefinable, or absent most of the time, or simply not something they are invested in. Not entirely without a gender, and not entirely with one.
The spelling moves between graygender and greygender, and gray agender is in use as a third form. All three name the same thing.
Where graygender came from
The word was coined by the Tumblr user invernom on 20 March 2014, and the reasoning survives in the coining post. invernom had found Agender, Neutrois and gender neutral close but not right, and built the new word on the model of graysexuality and grayromanticism, writing that graygender could have the same relationship to agender that graysexuality has to asexuality. The post offered the word outward to anyone it fitted rather than claiming it, which is the ordinary form of a Tumblr coinage.
How graygender differs from demigender
The difference is what the connection is a connection to. A demigirl is partly a girl: the claim names a gender and takes a fraction of it. Graygender names no gender at all. What is weak or indeterminate is the relationship to gender as such, and the definition extends that weakness to gender expression, which the demi- terms say nothing about.
Both sit on the same shelf because both answer a question of degree rather than a question of which. Juxera shows the third position by contrast: a whole gender that happens to sit near a familiar one, with no fraction and no ambivalence involved.
Why the flag was redesigned
invernom made the first graygender flags, and no copy of them has been located. On 30 March 2015 the Tumblr flag blog pride-flags proposed a five-stripe replacement, keeping the original colour assignments and offering two candidate blues described as deep ocean blue and grayish ocean blue. invernom endorsed the concepts the next day, saying either blue sat better with the greys than the original choice. The DeviantArt account Pride-Flags published the deep-blue rendering on 23 August 2015, and a seven-stripe alternative on 7 January 2018.
The colour meanings carried over unchanged: two greys for the range of graygender experience, and a deep blue for graygender as an identity, described as being like deep ocean water. The blog's account has since been deactivated and the person who wrote the proposal is not named in any surviving copy of it.
Where graygender has been counted
Once, in a community survey. The 2020 Gender Census recorded 55 people, 0.22 per cent of respondents, as greygender or graygender, plus one graygenderflux and one graygenderfluid. That is a share of people who sought out a gender survey and answered it, not a share of any population, and no other quantitative record exists.
The rest of the trail is reference work rather than research. The YouTuber Ash Hardell featured a graygender speaker in a December 2016 video about the word. The LGBT Sentinel included graygender in a flag guide on 24 May 2019, and Healthline listed it in a glossary of gender terms in December 2019. In academic writing it appears in passing: an October 2025 article on gender measurement in the Minnesota Student Survey groups graygender with demigender as examples of partial gender identification, and that citation is close to the whole of the scholarly record.
Told apart
Often confused with Graygender
- Agenderinvernom built graygender on the relationship graysexuality has to asexuality. Agender is the absence of gender; graygender is a connection that is present but weak or indeterminate.
- DemigenderDemigender names a gender and takes part of it. Graygender names no gender and reports the connection itself as weak, expression included.
- NeutroisOne of the words invernom found close but insufficient before coining graygender. Neutrois is a neutral or null gender rather than an ambivalent relationship to gender.
- QuoigenderListed as a related identity by the Nonbinary Wiki. Quoigender treats the concept of gender as inapplicable; graygender treats it as applicable but faint.
Common questions
Questions about Graygender
- What does graygender mean?
- Having a gender and some inclination to express it, but weakly, indeterminately, or only some of the time. The Nonbinary Wiki settles on neither entirely without a gender nor entirely with one.
- Who coined graygender?
- The Tumblr user invernom, on 20 March 2014. The word was built on the model of graysexuality and grayromanticism, after invernom found agender, neutrois and gender neutral close but not specific enough, and it was offered openly to anyone it fitted.
- How is graygender different from demigender?
- Demigender names a gender and claims part of it, as a demigirl claims part of being a girl. Graygender names no gender at all: what is weak or ambivalent is the connection to gender itself, and the definition extends that to gender expression as well.
- Is graygender the same as agender?
- No, though the two were built to sit beside each other. Agender is the absence of gender. Graygender is a gender that is present but faint or indeterminate, on the pattern by which graysexuality sits beside asexuality.
- How well documented is graygender?
- Thinly, and the shape of the record is worth stating plainly. The coinage is dated to 20 March 2014 and attributed to a named Tumblr account, the flag chronology from 2015 to 2018 is documented in detail, and one community survey has counted the word. Against that, there is no dictionary entry, no study of the term itself, and a single passing mention in academic writing on survey measurement. That is a statement about documentation rather than about use.
Added 2026-08-28 · Revised 2026-08-28
Nearby in the catalogue
Related entries
- AgenderAbsence rather than an unusual answer, dated by the OED to a 1996 newspaper article, and legally recognised once, in Oregon in 2017.
- DemigenderThe umbrella over demiboy, demigirl and their relatives, coined on an asexuality forum in August 2010 and written into Washington state law in 2018.
- NeutroisA neutral gender coined by one named person in 1995, and the clearest proof on this whole site that changing a checkbox changes the answer sixfold.
- QuoigenderFrom the French quoi: not a gender of none but a refusal of the question itself, coined on Tumblr in 2014 after quoiromantic, and measured once, in 2022.